Japan loves the Chocolate Penis

I got an e-mail from Steph with some pictures. Needless to say, I found the above picture to be the best. She begins to discuss this picture by mentioning that "...my favorite concession stand food was the artfully shaped chocolate-covered banana. They cut off one tip, then attached it to the other tip with a toothpick before dipping it. Unfortunately they ran out of the penis-shaped lollipops."

According to Stephanie, there is a festival on March 15th that glorifies fertility. Every year, they choose a well-known carver to take a whole tree and transform it into a giant majestic oak of a penis. Needless to say, I am in awe.

Stephanie describes it best by noting that "this was the best Japanese festival I've ever been to." I am inclined to agree. Japan. Wait for me! Don't stop being crazy!

Speaking of which, Steph also mentioned that the Vagina festival was before that. After noting that the festival was actually less exciting, I sort of came to a realization that the penis is just much more expressive than a Vagina. Vaginas are sort of there and stare at you. Like Princess Peach in Bowser's Castle, she sits there saying "woe is me" and doesn't get out much. Perhaps, it could be more expressive with the PR firms. However, penises have been glorified enough in the media that they can practically look at the camera and flash a Tom Cruise-level (minus the weirdness of Scientology). Vaginas just don't look that great on paper or as something to iconify (I made up a word, what are you going to do about it? Nothing. That's what I'm talking about). Now, Penises are the Hollywood Equivalent of Will Smith at the Box Office when it comes to the audience recognizing and smiling about some sexual organ.

Stuff that Asian People Like

Inspired by the "Stuff that White People Like" Blog, I thought about the Asian populace. What do we like? Can I do it without being racist or offensive? Well, here is an attempt at one thing that we DO like. Keeping in mind how awesome that blog is, this is an EXTREMELY modest attempt.


Eating Stuff that White People Avoid like the Plague

As an Asian-American, I always find myself with people that cannot stand the cartilage in their Beef Noodle Soups, the oddly bland texture of tripe, and the difficulty of eating chicken feet. Hell, most Americans can't stand eating Kimchi (seasoned fermented cabbage). Well, Asian Americans will lovingly embrace these products with unparalleled zeal. For whatever reason, we will gulp it down with a satisfaction that practically damns the "white" foreigners for their inability to have the courage or the desire to engage in our ancient practices. Why? Is it the taste? Take it from this Asian American, YES and NO. We do enjoy the flavors of these odd-ball products, but we truly enjoy rubbing it all your faces (you...being the white man). In our own odd way, it is practically our own way of competing with white people. I can't tell you how many times we all enjoy waving Kimchi around like Lex Luthor taunting Superman with Kryptonite.


Take that, white man! Take that! Due to our superior Asian ego, we will laugh and taunt you. Sure, there are some Asians that won't vocally make fun of you, but they are using their "inside voice." This inside voice is like an Amy Tan novel that shakes its head and says, "what a silly white person." These are the little kicks in our otherwise, "Asian" lives.